![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rarsneezesi've had these just piling up in a notes doc on my desktop bc i keep going "oh i'll tweet them" and then. not tweeting them. it's fine it's fine
> TO START OFF WITH: HEY PLEASE LISTEN TO MY YWKON JADE MIX, "SONGS TO MURDER YOUR DRIVER TO", 12 SONGS, A MIX ABOUT ESCAPING AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP OR. LIKE. YOU KNOW.
> ((I'M VERY PROUD OF THIS MIX))
> moving on
> Jade has never had alcohol ever yet. i mean they don't allow it in the lab anyway becuase THAT'S not good lab safety, but still. there's some company party and there's like wine and he just refuses to touch it. a part of him would really like to get wasted. the rest of him is like I Have No Idea What I'll Be Like When I'm Drunk, And Would Not Like To Find Out When Citan's On The Other Side Of The Room
> tbh? if Jade got fucking drunk and chewed Citan out Citan wouldn't even blink he'd be like yeah ok. does he care that jade hates him? nah, as long as jade does as told. BUUUUUUUT finding out he has no filter when drunk and accidentally telling citan all the shit he knows? that'd suck!
> I REALLY WANNA TALK ABOUT HOW HIS COWORKERS KNEW HE WAS STUCK SOMEWHERE SHITTY BUT COULD NOT HELP HIM
> like they KNEW something fucky was going on with citan. they KNEW. but could they do shit about it?? no!!! because citan is also their boss so they can't really kill him and even if they could jade has to commit vore in SOME fashion to keep his memories, becuase he does not want to LOSE his memories, which means he's against dying in any fashion for his freedom to begin with, NEVERMIND THE FACT THAT LIKE, it's not even like they could kill him and then drive him in citan's place anyway. citan would fucking know, and he'd fucking know which one of them did it, and then they'd be in trouble for like. theft, i guess? and also jade STILL wouldn't get out of that short of them killing him and then shipping him across the country to ????????? and hoping that whoever they send him to is a good person / that citan doesn't care enough to track him down, and even then JADE DOESNT' WANT TO LOSE HIS MEMORIES and jade CANNOT LEAVE WHILE CITAN IS DRIVING HIM so. yeah eveyrone's hands are tied
> DID CITAN STILL HAVE A WIFE AND DAUGHTER. DID THEY FUCKING KNOW (PROBABLY NOT!) (HE PROBABLY HASN'T GONE HOME FOR MORE THAN HOLIDAYS IN YEARS, THE BASTARD, IF HE EVEN WENT HOME AT ALL)
> please write about jade and malik....... they become friends....... flesh eater solidiarty........ they dont' quite end up dating but malik becomes the only bitch on this planet that jade can trust
> Jade: it would be nice to look for my friends, but i'm not sure if it's safe for me to contact them
malik: i can ask around--
jade: no
malik: well then you can tell me their names and what they look like so if i see them i can let them know-- that you're looking for them?
jade: they will appreciate knowing i'm alive and safe and my driver is dead
malik: real piece of work your driver sounds like
jade: you wouldn't know the half of it
> this also means jade adopts sophie after malik does. zestiria's bullshit comes full circle EVEN THOUGH I WAS PLANNING THIS EVEN BEFORE I KNEW ZESTIRIA'S EX DUNGEON EXISTED??? INCREDIBLE
> jade murdering citan was the most cathartic thing i'd written in a while. as well as like. the most violent?? sldkfjsf lmao i haven't had to use the "graphic depictions of violence" tag sincerely since ftpverse but jade snapped just a little. he went fucking feral. HE'S VALID THO HE DESERVES IT??? i would have too
> also i'd anticipated writing a much more lengthy fight sequence and even had dialogue drafted for citan being Even More Of An Asshole but jade didnt' want to make this any longer than he had to WHICH IS SMART AS HELL and so it was just immediate and kind of over instantly which. was so much better i think?? also jade's been planning this for a while, and intends to commit murder, so he is pulling out all the stops immediately
> we made jade an ice blade becuase ice is tied to truth :)
> did i exaggerate how much of an asshole citan is? yes, but like. i think only a little bit. he's not a xenogears antagonist but for being a party member he's just a straight up asshole all the way through and doesn't give two shits about anyone who isn't himself. also i loathe him and if i had to pick a character to shit on, i'm glad it was him
> for posterity, here's a detailed collection of citan uzuki's crimes in xenogears (contains spoilers). is this and this lp the reason why i hate citan so much? probably, but holy shit nothing they said about citan is WRONG
> RELATEDLY it's kind of a fun horrible thing that i teamed up him and jade becuase actually they have. a lot if similartiies??? the way they troll people is kind of identical slkdfksjlfm but also they would not be able to stand each other which is why: this bullshit. i said to aera that 5 yrs is about the maximum of years they can really put up with each other, and it's true. i'm still thinking about aera bieing like "citan was this close to staging an accident so that jade would go back to being polite" and YEAH
> the turnover for jades is aproximately 2 years, though. 5 is actually the longest he's lasted.
> CONSTANTLY THINKING ABOUT JADE FUCKING PERFORMING SURGERY ON HIMSELF
> his other option was to drink blood which. would have worked but also would have put him out of commission for upwards of a week and he did not have that kind of time
> he'd been skimming off of citan's bank account for ages. i don't think he could have safely just emptied the whole thing without someone noticing but he did stockpile a shitton of money to support himself after citan was dead
> also the scene didn't flow in a way i could include it because i was too fond of "well if you're going to kill me--" "i am NOT going to kill you", jade protesting before anna can even get out her stipulation, and then he distracts her with freedom again. BUT ANYWAY ALL THIS TO SAY anna was absolutely gonna be like "anyway hey no hey, if you have to kill me, PLEASE just eat my fucking heart afterwards so you can get yourself out of here" and jade is startled and perhaps a little disgusted but what he fucking says is "oh, kinky" "SHUT THE FUCK UP I'M TRYING TO BE SINCERE YOU BASTARD"
> i said last time i made a post about installment 24 that i wasn't going to make a call on jade's sexuality but me and aera both agreed he has aroace vibes In General so slams down the canon gavel on that one. him not being interested in a relationship makes it easier that he's not safe enough to consider one, so it's fine, it's fine
> the initial draft of the bonus fuckor didn't have a second note jade left to himself at all, only the tally, but i feel like aera convinced me to put a second note in?? either way i'm glad i did and i've been thinking about it a lot but TO SORTING HATS CHATS ON MAIN, jade is a ravenclaw secondary and so he works by collecting a shitton of resources and so honestly it would be unlike him to NOT leave himself a note, some knowledge to work with about this situation. and also he knows that citan doesn't give a shit about him so one note is safe, anyway
> while i'm here with sorting hat chats thoughts, tumblr user arcelian (here's a link) pitched jade as a slyth primary who likes to pretend he's a ravenclaw primary, and i want to bring that up becuase it's-- it still tracks, as ywkon jade lmfao. his circle starts very small as Just Him, but him not doing anything with the knowledge he's gathered for the sake of his own safety is very slyth moves, as is him acting out the moment his friends get threatened after like 5 years of managing to hold his ground somewhere he hadn't been able to hold out that long before. he probably could have held out longer against citan, but his friends were in danger. he couldn't not get them out.
> i've talked about how jade pretends he likes trashy romance novels before, even though he loathes them. he just has to pretend he likes them so he has an excuse to keep them on his shelf and hide incriminating notes about citan within them. of course this means he has to make sure he's SEEN reading them as well. ALL OF THIS TO SAY: old habits die hard and so he fucking buys himself one some while after citan has been dead just so he can pretend to read it and someone (malik i guess??) is like "lmfao i didn't peg you as liking those" and jade gets halfway through his usual excuse about them before he Remembers and he just instantly puts the book down and he's like "Actually i don't, i loathe them. i absolutely despise them. and i don't have to read them ever again."
> initially i'd pitched like, after citan's dead jade spends a while traveling, which i assume he does until he finds malik, and then after he finds malik ?????. he has like a hundred years to kill, so. i can't decide if it's he keeps traveling but stops by malik's place every now and then or if he settles down with malik or if it's both.
> fuck it, so it's here: malik runs like a bar or some shit, and he's been taking in blades like jade For Years (as well as human war orphans or human abuse survivors, he's not picky, he's just partial to burned flesh eaters because absolutely no one else will take care of them) and so jade shows up and malik is like first of all do not pay me a single gald, second of all do you need a place to stay for a while, i've got a room open
> again idk if jade stays from then on forever if he travels more for a while but i do think the arrangement turns into jade like "do you need someone to do your accounting? i might as well give back a little" and malik's like "i wouldn't want to force you into the same kind of job you were doing before--" "as long as i never have to write a report about the artificial aegis project again, i don't mind the paperwork so much. accounting is easy, anyway. it's just numbers."
> jade attempts to be unknowable but malik has seen enough blades like him to have a pretty good guess at the whole "driver was abusive, murdered him, ate his heart" business. when malik is fuckored to hell and back about what citan was ACTUALLY doing jade is just like "oh? and here i thought you knew everything about me?" and malik is just "WHAT THE FUCK WHO EXPECTS A DRIVER TO BE REGULARLY MURDERING THEIR BLADE?"
> THINKING ABOUT: malik asking jade how long he's been with citan and jade's like "well i only remember 5 years of it but given the three deaths and presuming it took 5 years each time, 15 years? but i was very careful this last time around so it's entirely possible that it was taking citan less than 5 years to murder me previously" and malik is just like WHOA WHOA WHOA HOLD UP IM SORRY? I'M SORRY? HE WAS WHAT?
> first think malik does is ask jade what he WANTS to do and jade doesn't have any ~Big Plans~ (it's not really safe for his friends if he tries to find them sdlkjf) but after some pressing he admits he'd kind of like to keep a journal, even if not remembering isn't a problem now, he's had to avoid writing down his thoughts for so long becuase it was too dangerous to keep a written record of them and now he has the Freedom to do that if he wants to, so. the way this conversation ends is
malik: well what are you waiting for? let's go get you one!
jade: right now?
malik: right now!!
> back to sads, please take a picture that's been haunting me: citan's been dead for years, and jade knows this, and he also knows that if citan was alive he would feel the resonance link tug before anything else, but even still the sound of malik's shoes against the floor sounds Just Enough like citan for a second that jade has up all seven masks before he turns around
> malik starts whistling everywhere he goes so jade always knows its him
(sophie picks up humming)
(she doesn't even know why she's doing this but malik does so she does too!!)
(jade doesn't even need her to??? but she does it anyway and i think he appreciates it even if it's unnecessary)
> this is WAAAAAAY off the theme of the rest of this but i want you to picture jade and malik kind of gleefully theorizing with each other re: anna, especially once kratos is in the picture, becuase it's kind of incredible to watch the two of them interact like they've always known each other even though they met just two weeks ago
Malik: oh good Jade you're here
Jade: what did you need?
Malik: just. just look look watch this, watch Anna. do you SEE them interacting
Jade: oh. ...Oh
and then anna comes back up to the bar
Malik: oh good watch this
Jade: okay
Anna: 'nother round of drinks please Malik my favorite bartender in the world
Malik: of course!! what did Kratos want again?
Anna: you literally just made it ten minutes ago are you telling me you forgot
Malik: like you don't regularly forget shit someone told you ten minutes ago
Anna: ALRIGHT
Malik: just say it again for me please
Anna: [rolls her eyes and rattles it off]
[once she has the drink and is gone]
Jade: ...alright, I see what you mean
Malik: like she's done it a thousand times before!!!
Jade: maybe she has
> TO START OFF WITH: HEY PLEASE LISTEN TO MY YWKON JADE MIX, "SONGS TO MURDER YOUR DRIVER TO", 12 SONGS, A MIX ABOUT ESCAPING AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP OR. LIKE. YOU KNOW.
> ((I'M VERY PROUD OF THIS MIX))
> moving on
> Jade has never had alcohol ever yet. i mean they don't allow it in the lab anyway becuase THAT'S not good lab safety, but still. there's some company party and there's like wine and he just refuses to touch it. a part of him would really like to get wasted. the rest of him is like I Have No Idea What I'll Be Like When I'm Drunk, And Would Not Like To Find Out When Citan's On The Other Side Of The Room
> tbh? if Jade got fucking drunk and chewed Citan out Citan wouldn't even blink he'd be like yeah ok. does he care that jade hates him? nah, as long as jade does as told. BUUUUUUUT finding out he has no filter when drunk and accidentally telling citan all the shit he knows? that'd suck!
> I REALLY WANNA TALK ABOUT HOW HIS COWORKERS KNEW HE WAS STUCK SOMEWHERE SHITTY BUT COULD NOT HELP HIM
> like they KNEW something fucky was going on with citan. they KNEW. but could they do shit about it?? no!!! because citan is also their boss so they can't really kill him and even if they could jade has to commit vore in SOME fashion to keep his memories, becuase he does not want to LOSE his memories, which means he's against dying in any fashion for his freedom to begin with, NEVERMIND THE FACT THAT LIKE, it's not even like they could kill him and then drive him in citan's place anyway. citan would fucking know, and he'd fucking know which one of them did it, and then they'd be in trouble for like. theft, i guess? and also jade STILL wouldn't get out of that short of them killing him and then shipping him across the country to ????????? and hoping that whoever they send him to is a good person / that citan doesn't care enough to track him down, and even then JADE DOESNT' WANT TO LOSE HIS MEMORIES and jade CANNOT LEAVE WHILE CITAN IS DRIVING HIM so. yeah eveyrone's hands are tied
> DID CITAN STILL HAVE A WIFE AND DAUGHTER. DID THEY FUCKING KNOW (PROBABLY NOT!) (HE PROBABLY HASN'T GONE HOME FOR MORE THAN HOLIDAYS IN YEARS, THE BASTARD, IF HE EVEN WENT HOME AT ALL)
> please write about jade and malik....... they become friends....... flesh eater solidiarty........ they dont' quite end up dating but malik becomes the only bitch on this planet that jade can trust
> Jade: it would be nice to look for my friends, but i'm not sure if it's safe for me to contact them
malik: i can ask around--
jade: no
malik: well then you can tell me their names and what they look like so if i see them i can let them know-- that you're looking for them?
jade: they will appreciate knowing i'm alive and safe and my driver is dead
malik: real piece of work your driver sounds like
jade: you wouldn't know the half of it
> this also means jade adopts sophie after malik does. zestiria's bullshit comes full circle EVEN THOUGH I WAS PLANNING THIS EVEN BEFORE I KNEW ZESTIRIA'S EX DUNGEON EXISTED??? INCREDIBLE
> jade murdering citan was the most cathartic thing i'd written in a while. as well as like. the most violent?? sldkfjsf lmao i haven't had to use the "graphic depictions of violence" tag sincerely since ftpverse but jade snapped just a little. he went fucking feral. HE'S VALID THO HE DESERVES IT??? i would have too
> also i'd anticipated writing a much more lengthy fight sequence and even had dialogue drafted for citan being Even More Of An Asshole but jade didnt' want to make this any longer than he had to WHICH IS SMART AS HELL and so it was just immediate and kind of over instantly which. was so much better i think?? also jade's been planning this for a while, and intends to commit murder, so he is pulling out all the stops immediately
> we made jade an ice blade becuase ice is tied to truth :)
> did i exaggerate how much of an asshole citan is? yes, but like. i think only a little bit. he's not a xenogears antagonist but for being a party member he's just a straight up asshole all the way through and doesn't give two shits about anyone who isn't himself. also i loathe him and if i had to pick a character to shit on, i'm glad it was him
> for posterity, here's a detailed collection of citan uzuki's crimes in xenogears (contains spoilers). is this and this lp the reason why i hate citan so much? probably, but holy shit nothing they said about citan is WRONG
> RELATEDLY it's kind of a fun horrible thing that i teamed up him and jade becuase actually they have. a lot if similartiies??? the way they troll people is kind of identical slkdfksjlfm but also they would not be able to stand each other which is why: this bullshit. i said to aera that 5 yrs is about the maximum of years they can really put up with each other, and it's true. i'm still thinking about aera bieing like "citan was this close to staging an accident so that jade would go back to being polite" and YEAH
> the turnover for jades is aproximately 2 years, though. 5 is actually the longest he's lasted.
> CONSTANTLY THINKING ABOUT JADE FUCKING PERFORMING SURGERY ON HIMSELF
> his other option was to drink blood which. would have worked but also would have put him out of commission for upwards of a week and he did not have that kind of time
> he'd been skimming off of citan's bank account for ages. i don't think he could have safely just emptied the whole thing without someone noticing but he did stockpile a shitton of money to support himself after citan was dead
> also the scene didn't flow in a way i could include it because i was too fond of "well if you're going to kill me--" "i am NOT going to kill you", jade protesting before anna can even get out her stipulation, and then he distracts her with freedom again. BUT ANYWAY ALL THIS TO SAY anna was absolutely gonna be like "anyway hey no hey, if you have to kill me, PLEASE just eat my fucking heart afterwards so you can get yourself out of here" and jade is startled and perhaps a little disgusted but what he fucking says is "oh, kinky" "SHUT THE FUCK UP I'M TRYING TO BE SINCERE YOU BASTARD"
> i said last time i made a post about installment 24 that i wasn't going to make a call on jade's sexuality but me and aera both agreed he has aroace vibes In General so slams down the canon gavel on that one. him not being interested in a relationship makes it easier that he's not safe enough to consider one, so it's fine, it's fine
> the initial draft of the bonus fuckor didn't have a second note jade left to himself at all, only the tally, but i feel like aera convinced me to put a second note in?? either way i'm glad i did and i've been thinking about it a lot but TO SORTING HATS CHATS ON MAIN, jade is a ravenclaw secondary and so he works by collecting a shitton of resources and so honestly it would be unlike him to NOT leave himself a note, some knowledge to work with about this situation. and also he knows that citan doesn't give a shit about him so one note is safe, anyway
> while i'm here with sorting hat chats thoughts, tumblr user arcelian (here's a link) pitched jade as a slyth primary who likes to pretend he's a ravenclaw primary, and i want to bring that up becuase it's-- it still tracks, as ywkon jade lmfao. his circle starts very small as Just Him, but him not doing anything with the knowledge he's gathered for the sake of his own safety is very slyth moves, as is him acting out the moment his friends get threatened after like 5 years of managing to hold his ground somewhere he hadn't been able to hold out that long before. he probably could have held out longer against citan, but his friends were in danger. he couldn't not get them out.
> i've talked about how jade pretends he likes trashy romance novels before, even though he loathes them. he just has to pretend he likes them so he has an excuse to keep them on his shelf and hide incriminating notes about citan within them. of course this means he has to make sure he's SEEN reading them as well. ALL OF THIS TO SAY: old habits die hard and so he fucking buys himself one some while after citan has been dead just so he can pretend to read it and someone (malik i guess??) is like "lmfao i didn't peg you as liking those" and jade gets halfway through his usual excuse about them before he Remembers and he just instantly puts the book down and he's like "Actually i don't, i loathe them. i absolutely despise them. and i don't have to read them ever again."
> initially i'd pitched like, after citan's dead jade spends a while traveling, which i assume he does until he finds malik, and then after he finds malik ?????. he has like a hundred years to kill, so. i can't decide if it's he keeps traveling but stops by malik's place every now and then or if he settles down with malik or if it's both.
> fuck it, so it's here: malik runs like a bar or some shit, and he's been taking in blades like jade For Years (as well as human war orphans or human abuse survivors, he's not picky, he's just partial to burned flesh eaters because absolutely no one else will take care of them) and so jade shows up and malik is like first of all do not pay me a single gald, second of all do you need a place to stay for a while, i've got a room open
> again idk if jade stays from then on forever if he travels more for a while but i do think the arrangement turns into jade like "do you need someone to do your accounting? i might as well give back a little" and malik's like "i wouldn't want to force you into the same kind of job you were doing before--" "as long as i never have to write a report about the artificial aegis project again, i don't mind the paperwork so much. accounting is easy, anyway. it's just numbers."
> jade attempts to be unknowable but malik has seen enough blades like him to have a pretty good guess at the whole "driver was abusive, murdered him, ate his heart" business. when malik is fuckored to hell and back about what citan was ACTUALLY doing jade is just like "oh? and here i thought you knew everything about me?" and malik is just "WHAT THE FUCK WHO EXPECTS A DRIVER TO BE REGULARLY MURDERING THEIR BLADE?"
> THINKING ABOUT: malik asking jade how long he's been with citan and jade's like "well i only remember 5 years of it but given the three deaths and presuming it took 5 years each time, 15 years? but i was very careful this last time around so it's entirely possible that it was taking citan less than 5 years to murder me previously" and malik is just like WHOA WHOA WHOA HOLD UP IM SORRY? I'M SORRY? HE WAS WHAT?
> first think malik does is ask jade what he WANTS to do and jade doesn't have any ~Big Plans~ (it's not really safe for his friends if he tries to find them sdlkjf) but after some pressing he admits he'd kind of like to keep a journal, even if not remembering isn't a problem now, he's had to avoid writing down his thoughts for so long becuase it was too dangerous to keep a written record of them and now he has the Freedom to do that if he wants to, so. the way this conversation ends is
malik: well what are you waiting for? let's go get you one!
jade: right now?
malik: right now!!
> back to sads, please take a picture that's been haunting me: citan's been dead for years, and jade knows this, and he also knows that if citan was alive he would feel the resonance link tug before anything else, but even still the sound of malik's shoes against the floor sounds Just Enough like citan for a second that jade has up all seven masks before he turns around
> malik starts whistling everywhere he goes so jade always knows its him
(sophie picks up humming)
(she doesn't even know why she's doing this but malik does so she does too!!)
(jade doesn't even need her to??? but she does it anyway and i think he appreciates it even if it's unnecessary)
> this is WAAAAAAY off the theme of the rest of this but i want you to picture jade and malik kind of gleefully theorizing with each other re: anna, especially once kratos is in the picture, becuase it's kind of incredible to watch the two of them interact like they've always known each other even though they met just two weeks ago
Malik: oh good Jade you're here
Jade: what did you need?
Malik: just. just look look watch this, watch Anna. do you SEE them interacting
Jade: oh. ...Oh
and then anna comes back up to the bar
Malik: oh good watch this
Jade: okay
Anna: 'nother round of drinks please Malik my favorite bartender in the world
Malik: of course!! what did Kratos want again?
Anna: you literally just made it ten minutes ago are you telling me you forgot
Malik: like you don't regularly forget shit someone told you ten minutes ago
Anna: ALRIGHT
Malik: just say it again for me please
Anna: [rolls her eyes and rattles it off]
[once she has the drink and is gone]
Jade: ...alright, I see what you mean
Malik: like she's done it a thousand times before!!!
Jade: maybe she has
